It may sound funny but at the beginning I would like to mention that the people who are lucky enough to find love in their life are not the target readers here. Also it’s not said that those who haven’t found someone yet is unlucky. Marriage should be the ultimate goal for them who got the love of their life already but not for them who are searching for it to happen after marriage because things doesn’t work like that in this era anymore. Did you ever think why the divorce rate is increasing by the time? Because people are in rush to settle in which they almost forget to have a life which is satisfying. If we see the South Asian culture, there are still so many countries where marriage is the ultimate purpose of their life and no matter what; they are in a hurry to get married not because they found someone whom they really want to marry but because the society is poking in so many ways. No wonder age is a big issue there.
So I tried to establish some points from my very own perception about why marriage should not be the ultimate goal in our life.
Marriage is not the primary goal when you’re single; marriage is marginal in that state because you have no one in your life. In that particular state, your career, hobbies, interests and choices should be the primary. You need to focus on your own dream rather than anything because it’s only about you when there’s no other person to think and care about you. Only if the right person comes in your way, think of getting into a commitment through marriage. You don’t need to seek or thrive for it. Yes, you are better off without it. And giving a damn to the society is the only stupid thing you can do while deciding or planning for your life. It’s your life, no one else going to live it but you.
Marriage doesn’t work like a magic, it’s not going to make you happier than your single life. It’s just going to make you conscious about your family life and maintaining the ancestry and all which is not really something very important in my point of view. There are lots of needy people out there in our society. If you can’t carry on with the offspring just don’t force it just because you need to. Well even there’s no need of it , donate it to the needy people and just give up the ghost in a peaceful way.
We all need someone at a certain point in our life which can’t be denied at all. But the most disheartening fact is that not everyone gets that one support in their life which can be called love as well. But why should we think it’s unfortunate to not have one? Or why should someone feel unlucky because of that? Of course life is so much more than that. You have so many other stuffs to do. We always have a long way to go because this is a very short life to accomplish your entire goal. Life has so many things to offer you and lots of opportunities to give you. Be productive and be enough determined to achieve all of it rather than just getting upset about not having someone to love. That’s a fact which can only pull you down.
Often it’s the age that comes as an issue to get married or get a job or may be to get a work done. Know that there’s no right age for doing anything or to achieve anything. When you do it, know that it was the only right time for you as you made it. The same logic goes for getting a job also. People get depressed if they don’t have a good job within 30 and start thinking themselves loser. Where do all the positive thoughts go that time? You can also have a job at 35 or 40, not a big deal at all. Take your time and don’t rush anything. Life is not rushing, it’s you.
There is absolutely no rush in settling down because you are not bound to answer someone about what exactly is going on in your life or what’s your ultimate plans and goals. Human nature is to judge you and talking behind your back, but does that really affect you? If does, then why? Ask yourself what is more important, judgment of those people who don’t even care about or your own state of happiness in life? Once you know the answer just go on with the decisions that make you happy. If you marry just because society says it’s the right time for you to settle down, don’t do it. It’s going to cost your married life, really. Do it when you feel like doing it. When your mind and heart knows you’re ready to do it. And if you think it’s never getting ready for marriage then leave the thought there, no need to force anything. It’s your life and you know what needs to be done.
We often get to hear that marrying is the solution of everything, mostly in the South Asian culture of course. For instance, if your son is being irresponsible and careless, marry him off and he will start being responsible. Oh really? Like how is possible? A person who is so careless to take any responsibility, how would he take such a big responsibility of a wife? And then come to the daughters. They already become a burden when they are 25. You have no idea what a 25 years girl go though in this type of society more often. Then comes the issue like you are unable to afford her education so you think marrying is the solution. No matter what is happening in someone’s life, marrying is always the solution of everything in our society. Things doesn’t work like that which is needed to be understand by you and me. Because you, me, the others, we all together make the society. We are the society.
It’s true that more often we prioritize the society over our own happiness. Of course we live in a society and we always need to cope up with it but that does not mean we need to compromise with our own happiness because of it. Marrying can’t be the ultimate goal in life because life is much more than that. When you don’t feel like marrying, it means you already know that you don’t really need someone to complete you and which is totally okay. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Do what makes you happy.